You Leave My Son Alone!

This post also appeared on in the opinion section of the Cape Cod Times, a division of Ottaway Newspapers, Inc.

I think it’s pretty clear to anyone who reads this blog by now, that I’m a little off kilter sometimes. I don’t deny this.

Such is the case lately when I watch Will around other babies. You have a bunch of babies on the floor. Some can crawl, others can roll and the older ones walk around. I leave Will with a few toys to play with and everyone is having a good time. But then one of the other kids decides to take Will’s toy away from him.

I know sharing is a good thing. I passed sharing with flying colors in kindergarten. And I know we’re talking about babies here who by definition cannot possibly hold any intentional ill will.

But even though I know all this, I have to admit that when another baby steals my kid’s toy I want to run over, snatch his toy back and set up a Baby Fight Club where Will would exact his revenge with a pound of flesh.

And I’ll take this opportunity to say that in no way am I condoning violence against babies, so any of you uptight lurkers out there just get your panties out of their proverbial bunch. All I’m saying is that I’m getting a taste of how difficult it’s going to be not to do things for Will as he gets older.

It starts at home when I try to get him to crawl. I put his toys juuuuust out of reach when he’s on the floor in the hopes that’ll spur him on to crawl toward them. But after a while he gets so frustrated and he starts to cry. I admit that a lot of the times I push the toy back within his reach because I feel bad. And when he’s older and kids begin messing with him, I’ll want to fight his battles for him even though I know I can’t. The urge to protect your own is just a lot stronger than I ever imagined.

But you have to admit, Baby Fight Club does sound kind of cool. I think I’ve posted this video before, but this is absolutely how my friends and I act with our kids!

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6 thoughts on “You Leave My Son Alone!

  1. That is pretty funny. Now you just need to teach Will to chant, “His name is Robert Paulsen” over and over again.

  2. Poor Will. Forget the college fund, set up the therapy fund! Wait until he starts crawling. You guys can have races. Just paint numbers on their diapers.

  3. I had something to say, but all I can think of is how hot Brad Pitt was in Fight Club!

    Oh, yeah. Just wait until he’s older and you find yourself with a little smile on your face when the kid who has been bugging your kid falls and starts crying. I’m not saying it’s right. I’m just saying it’ll make your day!

  4. Fear not! Victor was being bullied at daycare. One boy actually bit him twice. I was even considering changing schools. Victor is the smily happy baby everyone loves because he is quiet and mild mannered. So I was shocked to walk into daycare this week and hear the other teachers humming the theme to Rocky. Turns out Victor is not a pushover anymore. The boy tried to steal his toy and he smacked him so hard he knocked the kid to the ground. At first I was horrified that my son had taken out another child. Then I was proud he is not being aggressive only defending himself. The other kids stopped messing with him!

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